In a nutshell

Man, crazy times.

I keep meaning to update, but then so much happens, and I fall behind, and then it's too much to say.

And then more happens...

Now I'm fighting off some bug. For a few days now I've been pretending i"m not getting sick, because this is a really bad time to get sick.

It's Holy Week. My RCIA group are going through the sacraments on Saturday. So much stuff is happening at the church, and then next Tuesday, Michael and I are hopping on a bus to Tennessee for a week. I don't want to be sick when I go home. And I don't want to be sick during such a busy week. But my head is swimming. I feel restless, like I can't stop moving, but I also just feel like laying down. My throat hurts, my body aches. And I just feel... wrong. But I guess not all-out sick, which means I'm fighting it still, and hopefully I'll win. And soon. Cause this sucks.

So here's what's happened...

Molly and Eric and Ian came to visit, and we had a fantastic time. Went to museums, and road on the L (Ian loves trains), and they treated us to some fine food, and I showed them around where I work, and Ian played around with one of the marimbas, and it was just fun. it was almost 70 F the day they got in. It snowed the next day. So they got a taste of Chicago weather as well. It was a great trip. I'm so glad they made it up.

J and N... hmmm... they have court dates next month for their little stolen automobile infraction. I really don't know how that's going to go. they both have records, but J's is worse than N's, so he may actually be looking at a bit of time.

Their behavior at CCP was really bad the next few days. Then they started cutting again. Then J stopped coming all together. We're not sure if he's still in town or if he's moved to Indiana. his parents had been talking about it for years. They may have actually gone ahead and done it. We just don't know. They don't have a phone, and we haven't seen him or his sister around. No one was home when Marco and Alberto went to do a home visit... So...

We're meeting with N's mother and N today in about half an hour. It's like pulling teeth to get N to do any work. He comes in late, works for about 1/2 an hour, then complains for the rest of the time, refusing to do anything. Yelling a lot. Stalking out of the room. Some days it's better than others, but he's missed too many days now, been late too many times, so he's going to be out of the program. In the meeting, we have to have a realistic talk about how he might not make it at Dugan, because the behavior he's shown in CCP just won't fly there.

I hate this.

I like J and N a lot. Everyone keeps telling me there was nothing more we could have done. There was nothing more I could have done. And I know it's not my fault they cut, not my fault they'd come in late, or start fighting. But I can't help but feeling like I failed them. it's frustrating.

Art class has been going off and on. We *still* have not gotten in the sculpting equipment. What we've been doing the past week is remaking works of various artists, mostly paintings, with charcoal and colored pencils. It's actually pretty neat looking, to see something transformed like that. i don't have as many people coming right now, but the people that do come tend to be boys that don't have anyone that looks out for them at home. I think they like it when I ask them how their day was, and yell it them when they cut class, and encourage them to put their stuff in art fairs.

It's kind of funny now that I think about it... when I was their age, guys like them were also attracted to me. i used to joke with my friends that the guys I dated didn't want a girlfriend, they wanted a mother. I guess it's still kind of the same thing, except that now that I"m older than them, it makes it easier for them to put me in the "mother" category. I'm their teacher, so I have authority by right of title, so they tell me when things aren't going to great, almost pleading with me to set them straight. They want someone to tell them you can do it, don't do that, what were you thinking, good job. So I do, and they come asking for me.

That's kind of a good feeling.

Things have changed at home. Phil and Valerie are gone now. it's weird, them being gone, but I find that I don't miss the drama of the last few months. They sent us a card, and seem to be enjoying themselves on the road. So I wish them well.

I gave a talk to the Confirmation class at St. Paul church (near where I live). Daena organized the Confirmation Retreat, and asked me to talk about mission. So I did. And I sang them a song. It was a lot of fun, and a great boost to the ego to have like forty teens tell me how much I rock. The next day at the youth group meeting, they were talking about ways to raise money, and they decided they wanted me to play a show for them.

We'll see.

that's all for now.

peace out,
kati

UPDATE: We just had the meeting with N and his mother. He's going to be on hiatus from the program for the next two weeks (Holy Week, and while I'm out of town), and his mother is going to take him to get a psychological evaluation to see if perhaps his problems with doing his work, sitting still, not yelling, etc. have to do with a chemical imbalance or something. Pretty much, to figure out what else he needs, because CCP Lab just isn't enough. We also made clear that at the rate he's going, he may not finish the credits in CCP Lab, and definitely, if he carries this behaviour over to Dugan, will not make it there. Something has to change, and hopefully this will be the beginning of it.

I like this better.