Research

The cold comes again. It's been 60s and 70s for a few days, and sure we had rain... but man it was warm. Now it's Pantry Day and we're expecting another snow. I'm so ready for it to be done snowing.

And I can't help but think of the weather... well, you know where. I'm days (like, maybe tomorrow) away from knowing about funding, away from it being official. I'm crazy with anticipation. I focus on work. I watch movies at night. Anything to make the time go by. I am so ready for tomorrow to happen. Or the next day, if it's gonna happen then. Oh god.

In other, but related news...

Clark University had been my first choice school since I first found it online. I was invited out to interview, and went out to Worcester Massachusetts on quite possibly the worst day to travel ever. But, as luck would have it, I made it out on the only flight that left Chicago toward Boston that morning, and came back on the only flight that left Boston toward Chicago that night. 24 hours of travelling. The weather was so bad that not everyone could make it in to meet me. But I met the key people, and it was great. I talked to the van drivers that took me from Boston to Worcester, learned about local life. I learned all about the school, the program... and...

Well, for practical reasons it stopped being my number one choice. Still love the school, the program. Am enamored with the profs I'd have worked with and the research they do. But practically speaking, living options for the next four years wouldn't be great, and getting Michael into a school he'd thrive in just might not happen either. It just didn't... seem... to... fit.

On the upside, they decided that about me too. Liked me, what I was doing, what I wanted to research... but not as a first choice. And their first choice candidates all accepted, so they never got down to where I was on the list. No worries, though. Especially since the director of Cultural Psych program contacted me to say, Sorry, but no. But... remember that research we'd talked about? Would you like to work on it with us? And get a publishing credit for it?

It was the absolute best rejection ever. Because it is pretty cool research. I'd been quite excited about it when we talked about it. And... doing it here in Chicago will have the added effect of being able to help out the neighborhood I've spent most of my four years working in. Which is awesome.

The closer I get to leaving this program, the more I realize that I've been here for four years. I know that, as excited as I am for the next step, that there will be some sort of 'grieving process' when I go. I'm going to miss an awful lot about the Claretians, the neighborhood, the work I've done, the people I've known, and Chicago. I want to leave something behind. Something lasting. Something that will help on into the future.

It's why I've started the foodstamp interviews. (those are going well). And it's why I'm so excited about this research. I think it could help the community in a variety of ways, once it's done, once the information reaped is sent to key people in key places. And to think a rejection letter dropped this opportunity into my lap. How crazy, this world.

In the meantime, fingers crossed and prayers said that funding is a go, and that I'll be going to grad school at... well, you know where.

Update as soon as I know for sure.

*hopes hopes hopes...*