The News

Erika is in recovery. They'd had her on Tylenol plus codeine, but it wasn't enough the other day so now she's on morphine. When I saw her yesterday, it was hard to tell if it was the morphine or the brain surgery that left her sometimes less than lucid, but she's recovering. They have her walk around a few times a day. She gets up to go to the bathroom. When she's awake she can vocalize, although she doesn't always make sense. The swelling is going down.

Yesterday morning before I got there, this lady from church, Mary, called to tell me that Erika had asked for some of the soup that we'd been making for our fundraiser. I brought her a huge container. She was so happy to have it.

I brought a bunch of get-well cards and a couple of big posters the youth group made. She was happy to have them, although she can't read yet. The youth group was happy to make them. I also brought one of the posters up to the science fair and a bunch of the kids from school signed it too.

It's been a long and exhausting week. I want a day off so bad. I'm actually looking forward to our retreat next weekend with the volunteers. We're going up to Wisconsin to a cabin on the lake. It wasn't a great retreat last year, and it surprises me that I'm looking forward to it this year with a blind optimism that this year will be better, based on nothing but the fact that I want to get away.

I've been running a lot lately, and my body is starting to get back into shape. I'm doing two-mile runs this month, but the day I found out about Erika, in between everything else, I ran four. I just couldn't stop running. I had so much energy inside me and I felt like I was going to go crazy if I didn't get it out. And it helped. A lot. I was able to refocus myself for the the evening when we had the mass for her with a large group of concerned teens.

Dan was awesome to help out that day/night. He's been working with the youth group the past month, and the kids love him. And I know he has relationships with the teens too, and needed to be there and help out as much as he could for his own sake, but I can't help but feel he shouldn't have had to deal with any of it while he was getting ready to fly off for his grandmother's funeral.

And as always, Michael's been right there every night to hug me and listen to me-- eternally patient with me even in times when I just want to slap myself and tell myself to toughen up and grow up already. He tells me I'm fine, and everything will be fine. And I believe him. And I wonder when it was that I started needing to hear other people say that, because that was my mantra.

The rest of the community has been so easy. They ask how she's doing and listen when I tell them. They look the other way as I leave youth group things and projects and clothes and bookbags around the house. They're nice because they're nice people, and they're good because that's what they do, and I can't help but wish this community would stay forever, because they're awesome.

I feel so tired and sappy.

Upcoming with me/youth group is:

Tonight there's a meeting with Via Crucis, which is happening and which I think I'll be in charge of despite every thing. Boo. Ah well. YOu know? Not worth my worry. I'll do it and it'll be fine.

Tomorrow I'm taking a group of the teens to the Night MInistry to pack bags. The Night Ministry goes out in a bus almost every night and they distribute food and services for homeless people. I can't take the teens on the overnight service, but I can take them to pack bags that will be distributed throughout the month.

Next weekend is the volunteer retreat. The followiing MOnday I'm taking some teens to the Marquard Center to do service. That weekend we'll have a Dinner and a Movie fundraiser, and then, the last weekend of Februrary, we have the 30 Hour Famine. That's the big deal awesome THING that's coming up with the youth group. It's gonna be good.

So yeah. A busy month. I think I'll take the last two days of it off. I need to set about arranging that right now.

peace,
kati