It's certain now. My life will be moving on in Chicago. There are so many different levels of satisfaction that are filling me right now.

I'm in a new stage of waiting, but this one is much more fulfilling than my previous stages of waiting to find out. Waiting to get there and get going is a fun sort of waiting. It's the sort of waiting where you either can't do anything but walk around aimlessly staring at things, or else you have to do everything- projects and writings and packing and get it all done now!

People spend money to buy drugs to feel as charged as I do now. All they really had to do is make plans to save the world, and then go to Chicago.

So what do I do now? I tie up loose ends. I get new glasses. I box up everything I own. I stand in the parkinglot and drink coffee in hot July early afternoons and think about how cold I'm going to be in two months. I fantasize about the wind, about the subways, about the big grey city building stereotypes I constructed in my mind when I was a kid. I study Spanish and worry about getting my speech practiced and up to speed. I wonder who is going to be reading this next month.

Oh, and I paint.

I'm sort of jumping the gun here creating this website. In fact, I'm not even going to tell anyone about it for almost a month, except for Michael. He already knows. He rolled his eyes when I told him why I called it "Tangled Hair." It was the kind of eye-roll that said, "Oh, how artsy of you." But you know he secretly loves it.

But here's the deal. I'm starting here because the story starts here. We don't know for sure yet that we are going to Chicago, but we are so so so so so so so close to being sure, that we're pretty much planning our life around being there next month. Which is kind of disconcerting, when you think about it.

This is where the story begins. We don't know, but we're planning on it anyway. I, for one, get kind of nutsy when I think about it.

I try not to think about it.

I'm just intent on doing it. On getting there. On being one more person in Chicago with a mission and tangled hair.

This is where the story really begins.