47th St. Festival

That was this past weekend. Saturday and Sunday, from early until late. They block off this half-mile stretch of 47th St., which is a pretty busy street, mind you, and have booths and food and music and dancing and pony rides and shops and drinks and crafts and all sorts of fun summery festival-like things. HOPE Program goes every year and distributes information about HIV prevention and free condoms to the public.

Last year, this drunk priest from another church found that we had given condoms to a 15 year old boy he worked with (after the boy had asked for them), and he took them from the boy, and came to our booth in a rage, and yelled, and threw the condoms at us. There was a few weeks of uncertainty because he complained to the bishop, and Fr. Bruce stood up for us, and the bishop came over and in a very surreal meeting, basically indicated that he was going to look the other way so that we could continue to serve the public. Because maybe abstinence is the best way to protect yourself, but safe sex is still better than unsafe sex, and anyone who says that condoms do not help protect against pregnancy and STDs is at the very least misinformed, and at most a hypocritical idiot.

I attended a workshop on abstinence education a couple of months ago at a Catholic Jr. High School out in the suburbs and it was one of the most disturbing and angering evenings I've had this year. Everyone laughed at the statistic that... what was it? 89-ish% of married women said they'd had sex before they were married, and 93-ish% married men had. Everyone laughed. Look how many people had had pre-marital sex! Haha! The number for the men is so high! Haha!

But not our kids.

We must teach them about abstinence only, but we're going to claim that it's comprehensive even though the only thing we're teaching about condoms is that they don't work, and we're not teaching the realities of sexuality, but just saying that it's a sin and that our kids will find themselves wasting away in depression and sluthood and don't even bother with protecting yourself if you have sex because all is already lost. Oh, and by the way, homosexuals are destroying our way of life. Oh, and then this one guy starts talking about the "liberal anti-abstinence agenda"! No kidding. He said that.

So like, I'm ranting, and I realize that, but really. It's fine, I suppose, if god is going to send people to hell for having pre-marital sex, but you know, while they're still on earth... isn't it better if they're not pregnant and hit with an incurable STD at 14? Is it really just me? And do other people who work with and/or have teenagers REALLY NOT SEE that they are sexually active despite whatever teachings they are given regarding the morality of said sexual activity?

Anyway.

Saturday morning, as HOPE is setting up for the festival, the organizer comes and says that due to complaints last year, we cannot give out condoms during the festival. Keep in mind the following too facts:

1) They waitied until the morning the festival started to tell us this, even though we've been preparing for months.

2) We typically reach about 900 people at this festival.

So no condoms. This is not a religious festival. But still, a drunk priest complains and we get tied up in red tape. Urgh!

So Saturday, we reached about 500 people, and gave them information, but no condoms. People came and asked us for condoms, but no.

Sunday, we decided to forget about the festival, and instead we walked around the neighborhood everywhere except 47th Street, and gave out condoms. We're filing an official complaint. And we've apparently gotten all manner of influential community leaders pissed off on our behalf. So that's neat. People mobilizing to protect organizations that protect people's health.

Saturday night I told Michael about what happened. My lovely and wonderful activist husband said, "Why didn't you hand them out anyway? I mean, what were they going to do? Kick you out? You left anyway, so they basically already did that." Then he said, "Man, I wish I had been there, in another shirt" (he was wearing a HOPE shirt at the time) "I could have just walked around yelling out, 'Hey! Free condoms! I'm a private citizen here on my own behalf giving out free condoms!'"

I told Lulu that the next day. Lulu, who typically follows the rules. But she agreed and said, "Ah! I wish he had been there!"

I don't really have a moral or ending to this story, because I imagine it will extend on, way into the future. And it's not a story that began with us. This is just a little slice in the telling. But I do, seriously, wish that the Church would revise its official stance on condoms.

Hmm... I wonder what I can do about that.

The Claretians

Last night was one of those previously mentioned nights where I had to figure out how to be in three places at once. And I won't give away my secrets, so just take it for given that I succeeded.

One of the places was a mass with the Claretians. They're having their General Assembly this week, so all the priests and brothers in the Eastern Province are here, discussing things liks, Should we let Kati and Michael stay longer than two years? And other pressing concerns, too, I'm sure.

The mass last night was in celebration of three of the priests in the province who are sharing their 50th anniversary of Claretian Priesthood. 50 years. One of them, Fr. Moran, is the priest we're going to Guatemala with in July. Fr. Todd is currently at St. Paul, where I'll potentially be working next year. And Fr. Ted is, well, honestly I don't know him too well, but he gave us a talk at our mid-year retreat about service, and man oh man, he's led an interesting 50 years of priesthood.

Anyway, what struck me most upon arriving at the mass was how close I feel to an awful lot of these men. I guess that after serving with them for two years, and eating holiday meals with them, and drinking holiday drinks with them, well... Somewhere along the lines they really did start to feel like family to me. I'm so happy seeing the Claretians who serve in Jamaica and Juarez whom I haven't seen in months, and even the Claretians who serve in S. Chicago and Hyde Park and the Loop whom I just don't see as often as I'd like.

And I had missed the mass the night before because I'd had to be in two places at once that night, and so last night everyone kept saying how they'd missed me. I mean, everyone noticed I'd not been there, and wanted to make sure I realized that my absense had been felt. It felt really good that they all made a point to let me know they were glad I was there.

Fr. Steve, who serves in Jamaica, but who was at Holy Cross when I first arrived in Chicago, was sitting behind me in mass. He leaned forward before the service started and said, "Alright, I get to put bunny ears on you!" And he did. And Fr. White, who was next door at the rectory at St. Michael's till it closed last year, gave me a huge surprised hug when we ran into each other in the communion lines. And Manny tapped my right shoulder while ducking around to my left side. And Martin expressed his hopes that we get to stay. And Fr. Moran gave me a hug and was immediately talking about Guatemala. And Brotee (Br. Tom = Bro T. = Brotee) sat with us and welcomed us and passed hugs around. And, and, and...

And I had to go be in another place right after mass and Daena and I couldn't stay for dinner. And I didn't realize how disappointed I'd be that I couldn't stick around and hang out with all these priests and brothers and novitiates and Claretian workers. And it occurred to me that if we leave Chicago, that's one more group of people I'll miss terribly that I hadn't considered before. I've considered missing my teens, and my coworkers, and my community. But there's all these other people who have touched my life in the past two years, and somehow I hadn't really thought about having to say goodbye to them.

But maybe I'll be able to put that off awhile yet. Let you know.

peace,
kati

Swirling Mass of Chaos

is June.

My first day off this month is.... June 27th!

This is a month that I have to take one day at a time, because when I look at the month calendar on the wall in the kitchen, I begin to hyperventilate, and want to go hide in the corner.

June. The sum of its parts are all going to be quite enjoyable. But as a whole, it's scary because there is so much I need to accomplish. The thing that really sucks is that this is perhaps my last full month in Chicago. And if nothing else, it's my last month working fulltime at Holy Cross. I am very well aware of the fact that by taking this month in a day-by-day, and sometimes hour-by-hour basis, that the time is going to fly by without me noticing. This busy, it's almost impossible to savor the flavor of life. I'm also well aware of the fact that my boss thinks I'm slacking... because that's the way she sees me. She is incapable of accepting that this 60+ hour week I'm working this week... is a lot of hours. And that I'm doing a lot, and that I'm doing it well. But, you know, whatever. She won't be my boss soon, so I won't have to always be looking over my shoulder, wondering who's judging me. I'll be able to just do my job and feel good about it.

I've tried to keep it a secret, but I think my teens know that I might be staying. They've stopped guilting me about when I leave. They don't talk about it at all. This is a new thing. For a year now, they've brought it up without fail every single day they've seen me. I think they know.

Also, theoretically at least, we will know what we're doing next THIS WEEK!!!! Do you believe it? Because I'm not sure I do. But our options for staying in Chicago are looking better and better. I just want them to be definite. It's crazy, really. I want to go to the desert. I want to stay here. If it works out that we can stay here, we're staying here.

it's a strange thing to think about... having a home. A city that we live in, and are going to be staying in. It changes a lot of things. Plans are made differently. I find myself getting involved in different things, and in different ways. Without the threat of imminent departure, I want to become A Part of the communities I'm a part of. I don't really know how to descibe it. But you know what I mean, right?

My thoughts, like me, are pulled in many different directions right now. Hope I'm somewhat lucid.