Practically speaking

I've started reading psych textbooks to update the information in my head. I've joined the Y so I can exercise and not get too stressed. I go back and forth between determination and high anxiety. I want to have every possible piece of information at hand before I make my final decision. Hawaii is the front-runner right now, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm being impractical, even if all current information points to it being practical enough to work. And work well. Is it really possible that it's okay for someone like me to go to Hawaii for four years? Could good actually come from it?

Clark has, unfortunately, dropped from number one status on my list of preferences. I am enamored with the program, but it is simply not practical. Not for both of us. And there, grad school would really be it. There would be nothing in Worcester itself that would make living there worth it to me. It would only be the program. It's not enough for me. And it would be nothing for Michael.

I'm going to Oklahoma in a couple of weeks to interview. A mainland option. I feel like I need to have a mainland option, just so I can be completely practical about it. When I tell people that, they understand what I mean, but they still laugh at me for setting up an option of Hawaii or Stillwater, Oklahoma. Is that even an option?

Well, let's be practical, and see.

The Chicago River Steams At This Temperature

The inside of your nostrils freeze. Your eyes water and the tears freeze on your lashes.

I wore one outfit over the weekend, although, to be fair, it was closer to three outfits at once. I'm wearing more work appropriate clothing today, but it doesn't seem enough. It was -9 this morning when I left to catch the bus. I paced back and forth at the stop to keep my blood flowing. My thighs hurt, and then I couldn't feel them. The backs of my legs hurt, then I couldn't feel them either. When the bus came, it was so warm. Felt like my legs were burning-- not on fire, more like they were emersed in bathwater that was too hot.

I didn't see any homeless on the streets over the weekend during the few times that I ventured out. I hope, I hope, I hope that means they've found shelter somewhere. I checked the places I normally see them sleeping outside, but no one was there. God, I hope they're okay. On the news Saturday morning, they advised on one go outside. Michael and I found that out when we arrived at the downtown lecture on peace psychology and war trauma. The lecturer claimed that the organizer had had to force him out of his hotel room that morning.

So, back to me.

Don't remember if I mentioned it, but weeks and weeks ago, I told Michael that I needed a contingency plan, in case I was not accepted to any of the schools I'd applied to. Michael rolled his eyes, but went along with it. We developed a contingency plan to my satisfaction. Then, Michael said, "Is this before or after the meteor hits? Because I think that's about as likely as you not getting accepted anywhere."

Perhaps because of this divergence in amount of certainty that I'd get into grad school, I was far more excited when responses started coming. I'd hoped of course, but I tried not to take it for granted that anyone would say yes.

So, as of now, I've been accepted to one school, and they said that if it comes down to money, to please talk with the director of the program before I decide to go somewhere else. I've been invited to interview with two others. One of those (my first choice) has said that the interview does not mean I'll be accepted, only that I've made it to the short list. The other was far more vague, saying I'd receive more information shortly. But hey, that's three schools, at least somewhat interested. I'm waiting to see what this week brings.

Official offers must be made before April 1. I must officially accept somewhere before April 15. But now seems to be the time for contact. The strange thing, now that I think about it, is that one of the interview invitations came from a schools whose application deadline has not yet passed.

Updates coming, when available.

Peace.

Stay warm.